This is my handsome, charming and cunning dog, Kern.

Not pictured: the little devil-version of Kern that's always perched on his shoulder, telling him what to chew next

He’s energetic and curious and an excellent and loyal companion, in spite of having a brain the size of a walnut. But really, that’s all he needs to execute his primary objective of eating anything that fits in his mouth. And no, I haven’t the faintest idea what breed he is. He’s just brown.